The Way She Makes Me Feel
by druifje
Summary: Puck's view on what happens with him and Rachel. With a different ending. Contains Spoilers for 1x08.


**A/N:** _After seeing 1x08 Mash-Up I just had to write something! I mean, I ship them, hard. So yeah, this is the result when my fangirlish thoughts actually become reality. Too bad it didn't even last one episode though. Now it is waiting for Will and Emma to finally do something about their hotness._

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything Glee-ish.

**Warning: **Contains spoilers for Glee 1x08 Mash-Up

***

I've always noticed her. Never really knew her name, though. She was just the unpopular girl with way bigger lips any normal person would have. I could only imagine what those lips would feel like on mine. But of course I wouldn't let my mind go there. She was a gleek after all. A hot one, though.

And every time I would throw a slushie at her, those lips would go all pouty. Making them seem even more bigger and making her even more kissable. That's why I never looked at her after I gave her a slushie-facial. I didn't know if I would be able to contain myself if I did. And I couldn't even imagine the looks I would be getting after I started making-out with her in the middle of the hallway. Hell, I was a football player. Nobody would expect me to start making out with a Gleek.

And before I knew what was happening_ I _was dancing and singing in Glee club. I was doing the exact same thing I laughed at her about. Something in me said that this was wrong. Football players weren't supposed to be in the damn Glee club. But I kinda liked it. I mean, how could I not? She was there. And Quinn. But I wasn't allowed to look at Quinn, she was Finn's girl.

And so was she. Kind of.

It was hard to miss the looks she gave him. And even an idiot could see that Finn didn't really mind. But when the news came that Quinn was pregnant he couldn't really leave her anymore, even if he wanted to, he wouldn't be able to ignore Quinn's stomach, which would eventually grow. Even if Quinn's baby was actually _my_ baby.

I'm not sure how I feel about that though. I mean, I knew I should never have gotten her drunk. Even if she wasn't really_ that _drunk and still very much in control of her actions. And I shouldn't have taken advantage of her like that. But man, she was like throwing herself at me. She was. Kind of. Okay, maybe not. But she still could have refused when I started kissing her neck. I mean, I may not be the most decent guy but I would never force a girl into something she doesn't want.

Now back to _her_.

What more can I say about her? Besides the fact she has an amazing voice. You could almost hear the angels sing with her when she sings. Or maybe they are crying, because her voice is way too shrill so it is hurting their ears. Or a combination of both. I don't know. Whatever it is, she is the best female singer in Glee. So she gets a lot of solos. Which I don't mind, because I can watch her unnoted.

But Mr. Shue thinks Finn is the best male singer. I don't agree with him, but who am I to judge? I'm no damn vocal teacher or something. But because of that Finn gets most of the male solos. So he can get all touchy with her. And that's just not fair. Because I want to get touchy with her. In a whole other way than dancing. But I still try not to let my mind go there.

My mind did go there when we were making out on her bed, though. I didn't expect it to be so easy to get her to make out with me. But, hell, you don't see me complaining. And she was doing a damn good job at doing it too. That was until she stopped at got off me. I immediately felt some kind of emptiness.

And that was when I knew.

I knew for sure that I liked her. I knew that I didn't want her to be Finn's girl. I knew I didn't want Quinn anymore. I knew I wanted her. In all ways. Man, I had it bad. But I couldn't tell her that though. Don't think she would have believed me anyway. Because who would believe that a Gleek would have me drooling after her after just one make-out session? You're right, no one.

So that's why I didn't tell her that I quit football because of her. And not because I like the dancing and singing thing or because I like Quinn. Because it maybe started with liking Quinn, but the dancing thing really isn't that bad. And _she_ isn't either.

I still don't understand why I didn't say anything when she broke up with me. I felt like I had to say something, that she wanted me to, but I couldn't make myself. I didn't even know what to say. But I regret that now, not saying something.

I will never have her. And it isn't because she is too good for me, or I don't deserve her or some other crap. It's because she doesn't think of me the way I think about her. And that's really her bad really. That she doesn't realize what she could have.

But maybe she has realized that. I won't know any other reason that she is now standing in the middle of my room, waiting for me to say something. But I ain't gonna do that. I'll just wait for her. Let her suffer a little. Like she made me suffer when she broke up with me.

"Noah.." Her voice sounds pleading. Not her usual shrill voice when she just doesn't know when to stop talking. But it's different. Because this time she doesn't know what to say.

"Rachel.." I decided to tease her a bit. That'll teach her.

"Will you please get up?" She seems nervous. That's a bit out of character for her. But I still do what she asked me, because I'll never deny anything she'll ask from me.

"I.." She opens her mouth and that single word comes out. She closes her mouth again. Still not knowing what to say.

"Why are you here, Rachel?" I decided to help her a little. Because I really can't stand it to see her so nervous and helpless.

She opens her mouth again and closes it. Her eyes directed to the ground. She wants to say it. But her pride won't let her. Because she is afraid to get hurt. She is afraid that I'll laugh at her and just throw a slushie in her face.

I take a step in her direction and put my finger under her chin. I raise her head so that she is looking in my eyes.

"Say it."

I try to put all my emotion I have in those two words. I want to make her understand that I won't hurt her. That I won't laugh at her. But I want her to say how she feels about me first.

She still doesn't say anything. Instead she puts her hand gently on my cheek. Her face comes closer and after what seems like an eternity her lips touch mine. It's maybe not the heavy make-out session we had, but it means so much more. At least to me.

I pull away. The passion of that single kiss left me more breathless than any making out ever could have done. I smile at her. And she smiles back.

Because maybe we were never each other's first choices. Maybe we will always be talked about and pointed at. Maybe we will always be thrown slushies at. And possibly we will sometimes be ready to rip each other's head off. But I don't care. Because I can honestly say I never felt this way about anyone before. And that says a lot.

So that is why I start grinning. She looks at me, confused.

"Wanna make out?" I ask her. She laughs and puts her lips were they belong, on mine.


End file.
